Life in the fast lane: My name is Adam and I am a Never-Nude*

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My name is Adam and I am a Never-Nude*

How hysterical are the new Huggies jean diapers??? In my defense - they were SUPER CHEAP. Anyhoo, now Adam looks like a little Tobias-in-the-making. But on the other hand - these offer endless entertainment!

*If this post makes NO SENSE to you - you need to become familiar with Arrested Development. It will make this the funniest post you've ever read.

3 comments:

Holly said...: OMG! I laughed out loud at work when I read this! SO funny! I'm gonna show it to Ryan tonight.; July 30, 2010 at 9:55 AM
alyssa said...: Oh man, you've gotta love Arrested Development! Those diapers totally remind me of Tobias! Hilarious.

Also, I vote you should have come to CO this summer so I could do pictures of your cute family and meet Adam! We'll be here for Christmas though... :); July 31, 2010 at 3:34 PM
Micah and Marilee Woolstenhulme said...: Got this right away. Hooray Adam!; August 1, 2010 at 8:49 AM

Random Acts of Silly-ness...

~Funny things seem to keep happening on our way back home from Utah drives. This time, when Livy woke up - without anyone saying anything to her - she declares to me, "Mommy! I'm not dead! I'm not dead, Mom!" (???) What in the world was she dreaming about!?! haha (July '10)
~On our way back home from Utah, Livy had passed out for like 3 hours. And then to let us know she woke up, she yelled, "Ta-da!" It was hilarious! (April '10)
~My whole family was at Red Robin waiting to go inside and Livy saw some older girls sitting on a bench and she went and talked to them and ended up sitting next to them. But she wouldn't move her body when she sat down and then she (without moving her head) shifted her eyes from side to side as they were wide open. It was so funny! (April '10)

Funny TEENY Conversations

(Livy's eating yogurt at the table and Adam crawls up begging for some.)
Adam: Waaaaaaaah!!!
Livy: Okay, chill out! Here you go!
Adam: (More screaming)
Livy: CHILL OUT! Here you go!
***
(We were video chatting with Luke and Andrea - Out of nowhere and in no way related to our conversation...)
Liv: I like dogs.
(Another 5 minutes pass of random conversation and Liv blurts something else out...)
Liv: I like dinosaurs.
***
(Matt was helping Liv go poop)
Liv: It's stinky, Dad. It makes me feel weird.
***
(Livy walked in on Matt going to the bathroom)
Liv: What's going on in here!?!
***
Liv: Mom, give it to me right now! Give it to me! I'm being mean! Give it to me!
Me: You're being mean?
Liv: Yes.
***
(Livy wanted to hold Matt's hand at the store)
Matt: You want me to hold your hand while I'm holding you?
Liv: (Laughing) No that would be weird.
***
(Matt was tickling Liv at the store)
Liv: Dad, just chill out for a minute!
***
Livy: Look Mommy!
Me: What?
Livy: I put a diaper over my underwear. It's not naughty, it's funny!
***
Me: (In the car) Okay, Liv, we're going to the store!

Livy: Don't forget coupons!

***

Me: Livy, why don't you go potty real quick?
Liv: I can't, Mom! I no have penis!
Me: ???
***
Me: Livy, are you pooping?
Liv: No, I not pooping. I just relaxing.

Embry's Firsts

She has learned...
~how to baffle doctors (3 days old)
~that she enjoys binkies (3 days old)
~how to bob her head up and down while trying to use neck muscles (1 week old)
~how to only wake up once or twice a night - love her!!! (1 week old)

~how to roll over from her back to her tummy - seriously - we have the video to prove it! (2 weeks)

~how to smile and coo! (6 weeks)
~that she has to burp twice after eating or she will barf (1 mo.)
~how to hold onto you and cuddle - she's always been a little cuddle monkey (1 mo.)
~how to chase after things with her free hand while nursing - she can always reach around and grab my phone if she senses I have it - or whatever I'm holding - if nothing is there then she grabs my face or shirt (1 mo.)

~how to make the doctor laugh by showing him her crazy strength by pulling herself up when you hold her hands (2 mo.)
~how to blow bubbles (2 mo.)
~how to stand and put weight on her teeny feet (2 mo.)
~that she HATES car rides and will cry FOREVER (2 mo.)
~how to hold her head up for a little bit (2 mo.)
~that she likes chocolate pudding (2 mo.)
~that she has strong legs that can kick her car seat off of the bench at church (2 mo.)
~how to copy Daddy and stick out her freakishly long tongue out all the way (3 mo.)
~how to have a serious ab workout by pulling her head up to try to sit up (3 mo.)
~how to scoot around when she's on her belly and frustrated that no one has picked her up yet (3 mo.)
~how to roll over (3 mo.)
~how to prop herself up against the couch corner and stand all by herself! (3 mo.)
~how to find her tongue (3 mo.)
~that she loves her swing (3 mo.)
~how to relax with her teeny legs crossed (3 mo.)
~how to sleep through the night and fall asleep all on her own! (4 mo.)
~how to make the most painful sounding laugh ever (4 mo.)
~how to find her bottom lip - she loves it and won't let go of it! (4 mo.)
~that she loves to stand (4 mo.)
~how to hold something behind her - in her carseat (4 mo.)
~how to have a death grip - usually of my hair or nose! (4 mo.)
~how to talk (4 mo.)
~how to be SO happy ALL THE TIME (4 mo.)
~how to go to anyone without being scared (4 mo.)
~how to grab her carseat toy and make it shake - she LOVED it! (5 mo.)
~how to reach the bottom of the exersaucer and actually enjoy it! (5 mo.)
~how to eat real food and not make her tongue shove the food out of her mouth! (5 mo.)
~that she loves to swing! (5 mo.)
~how to sit up all by herself! (5 mo.)
~how to roll and get to wherever she wants to go (5 mo.)
~how to talk and say dadda dadda dadda (5 mo.)
~how to crawl (6 mo.)
~how to be sneaky and sneak stuff up the stairs ( 7 mo.)
~how to crawl up the stairs (7 mo.)
~how to steal brother's shake and drink out of his straw (7 mo.)
~that she needs to be swaddled again to sleep through the night (7 mo.)
~how to grow enough hair for a ponytail! (7 mo.)
~how to dance (8 mo.)
~how to cruise along the couch (8 mo.)
~how to hold onto the couch with just one hand (8 mo.)
~how to climb into the dishwasher and be a punk (8 mo.)
~how to walk across the room holding on to a push toy (8 mo.)
~how to attack her brother when he's laying on the ground and slap him around (8 mo.)
~how to make the come here motion with her hand and fingers - so cute! (9 mo.)
~how to click her tongue (9 mo.)
~how to stand by herself while propped against the wall or couch (9 mo.)
~how to cry mamamamamama (9 mo.)
~how to climb off the couch and bed (9 mo.)
~how to completely destroy a clean room in a matter of seconds by pulling every item out of a box, drawer, etc.!!! (9 mo.)
~how to snatch a piece of popcorn from the bowl at lightning speed and shove it in her teeny mouth! (10 mo.)
~how to roll her tongue! (10 mo.)
~how to walk along the WALLS! (10 mo.)
~how to use her toes as a teething toy (11 mo.)
~how to be an angel baby in LONG car rides (11 mo.)
~how to get a UTI AND have an ear infection at the same time! (11 mo.)
~how to cry enough to get whatever she wants from Adam (11 mo.)
~how to sit for a whole book while Daddy reads to her (11 mo.)
~that her favorite toy of all time is a car (11 mo.)
~how to say hi dad (12 mo.)
~how to say mine! (12 mo.)
~how to walk when holding one hand (12 mo.)
~how to take shape objects out of a container and put them back in the right shapes (12 mo.)
~how to smile for a picture only when Daddy is taking the pic (12 mo.)
~how to stand up from sitting by herself without help (12 mo.)